when i was first blogging,on December 2007, i was influenced by Maya and i found that it is one of the way for me to express my feelings since im not good to share my problem or whatever chaos inside me with people.yess, i always hide my feelings.people see me as a happy~go~lucky person, but deep inside i am a very sensitive..to be frank, i can easily cry.because of that i really think blogging is the best way to let all the aches inside me out.in other words, blogging is my diary.that is why also i didnt reveal my blog to others until now.so it is not personal anymore.im not here to make people impress of me,besides i know that my english is not so good but i think it understandable.and i admit im not good in making sentences.yess..i hate it.plus i hate all bahasa² thingy.i just like numbers.haha..ok back to the main point.if u are reading my blog u find it so boring, its totally not ur fault.because, me also find that my blog is totally boring..most of the entries are about my sadness and the same thing.because i dun know where to share except in here.why dont i share it with my friends?because i think my problems are not so important for them to know..and the main reason is im so embarrassed with those kind of feelings.

what i wrote in here was all about me.and since some of u is reading this, im scared that u will misunderstand with all the words scattered here and will start judging on me.but to keep all inside will make me crazy..not that bad, im just exaggerating....plus i dun like wake up in the morning and feel like shit. if u know me, u will say that i wont care what others would say on me.pretending that im cool and stoic enough with whatever shits people will talk about me.but the fact is i care and keep thinking on it like every second.so please, if u think all my words make no sense, back off because im sick and tired of caring what u thought of me. not here..not in my blog.and that is why me is the epitome of the gerrrret pretender.thank you.

♥

now i feel so bad.fb seems so bored for me..log in then stalk.log in and stalk.nothing much to do.since nonin has dumped his i phone, i feel like fb is no longer interesting.nampak sangat c nonin ni penghibur hati aku.sape lagi wa nak gaduh with selain dgn lu nin.sonok weh bang orang.dgn nonin jela aku selalu buat.hahaha..sori nin.tapi dat is so fact which wa cannot deny.pastu now semua orang kat opis yang bg aku makan, yang layan gile2 aku, yang layan mengada2 aku nak bla..so kat fb tu update semua yang menyedihkan aku je.thats why im considering to ditch fb but its the only medium yang boleh menghubungkan aku dgn diorang.

citer pasal orang nak berpindah ni..aku sedeh la.ya memang, wlaupun jauh, still boleh lagi contact since ade berbagai medium nowadays.but still lain kan?lepas ni sape nak panggil aku JAREK lagi klau bukan kak nona..dem aku rase mcm nak nanes!!aku nak beli jajan dengan sape klau bukan dgn kak sal?sape nak bagi aku kuih or biskut free or apa jenis makanan klau bukan kak gie.sape yang aku sebok2 nak kacau or panggil or bagi aku coke die bile beli mcd klau bukan kak eton. sape nak panggil aku makan bekal yang nyayi dia buat, jahit manik, yang aku selalu nganjing, selalu aku dengki klau bukan ct.klau aku yang baru sekejap ni dgn diorang dah terasa gile, apa lagi kak ghozal dan waty.mesti sunyi kan?haih..tapi nak buat cane?this is life.whatever happens, there must be a reason behind it.yesss..diorang pun kena la move on.x kan nak stay kat situ like forever.but i really enjoyed the time we spent together.a zillion thanks to all of you for always there for me. and more important for always melayan perangai aku yang ntahpape..waktu kacau atau stabil.luv u guys..muahhhhhhhhhhhhxxxx!XOXO

every hello ends with goodbye.its maybe the time to say it, but it will never be the end

to kak ghozal & waty..after this mesti korang rase sunyi kan?x pe aku kan CUM ict, memang nanti aku jela kot yang akan menempel di situ!!huhu..

aku mmg slamber..tp dalam hati konfem ade taman babe

i dun want to post this actually.but lately i keep on listening to this song everyday..its not everyday, i think almost every hour.what makes it relate to me..?the wording of course. dem i hate this..

"tuhan tolong nyatakanlah, padanya tentang cinta, adakah masih diriku diperlukan.

tuhan tunjukkan padanya, tentang apa yang ku fikirkan, adakah cinta ini perlu untuk dirinya."

dun u think it relates to me?waaaarggh

dear brain..

sorry for overloading you with thoughts of him.

dear tummy..

sorry for all the butterflies.

dear pillow..

sorry for all the tears.

dear heart..

sorry for all the damage.

im sorry



♥

i think i am so chronic right now!!

totally so so so unhealthy.

please..please..please..

cure me!!

make me feel healthy

and happy!

im tired of pretending .

please