~hope 2008 will full of colours~to day is the first day of the new year...2008!
i hope everything to be okay throughout this year...
this morning i woke up at 6.30 to pray...then i sleep back again,hehe..since i got nothing to do..at 9.00 mama woke me up...ask me to accompany her to settle a few things..we had our breakfast at 'Warung Makcik Tipah'...her nasi lemak is superb!since i've never been there for ages...she tried to recall me..her daughter was my schoolmate in primary school...she get confused.huhu..so i told her...am a friend of Farina..owh, then she recalled...then she asked me..'kerja kat mane?'..i dunno, but i really hate to hear that kind of question...it makes me sick..i dunno..i just wanna scream!
mama answered everything..i didn't want to hear anything..so, i just sit and eat...i dun have the mood...since last night..i think too hard and soo much..i keep on comparing my life with others...i feel like LOSER!how pathetic i am...???!
then the whole day..i just keep quiet..i dun even respond to what mama said...i was so depressed...totally feel like loser...am jobless at my age...and i hate that...it's not as simple as imagine...it's hard for me to face it..
mama noticed my sadness..i didn't mean to hurt her..but i really not in mood...when, we arrived at home..i straight away went to my room and locked the door...i cried...cried...and cried...until i slept..
when i woke up just now...i feel relieved..maybe i need to let it out...but i dunno how..the best way is to cry lor...i hope i can face all these with patience..but who knows?we are human...
