yess..

friends leave

**sigh**

NLKO

setiap sabtu & ahad

jam 0800 - 1000

ini memang dah jadi kebiasaan aku every weekend.program ni plak dah jadi program kegemaran & wajib tengok untuk aku. x delah best sangat, maybe program ni agak informative kot.entahlah.tapi yang pasti every weekend, jam 8, aku secara automatik akan amek remote, on tv, tekan 1 1 9 untuk tengok program ni.layan la..haha.

the gents

the ladies

venue: banafee village

time: 1800 - 2200

percubaan perjumpaan bulanan

misi berjaya untuk pertama kali

sangat besh

pertama kali juga berkumpul setelah berkenalan melalui mukabuku sahaja

terima kasih

♥

i will never be you

i will always be me that i know

though im happy being me

i want to get away from this all harsh reality

so

give me a break

a little escape

i am so tired of being me

i want to be free

i want to be new

and different

anything im not

i hate the way u talk to me
and the way u cut ur hair,

i hate the way u drive ur car
and i hate when u stare,

i hate the way u always condeming me
and i hate the way u read my mind,

i hate u so much that it makes me sick
it even makes me rhyme,

i hate the way u're always right
and when u're not replying my message,

i hate when u make me laugh
even worse when u make me cry,

i hate the way u're not around
and the fact that u didnt call,

but mostly i hate the way i dont hate u
not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

im trying my best to hate u from now onwards

sorry

when i was first blogging,on December 2007, i was influenced by Maya and i found that it is one of the way for me to express my feelings since im not good to share my problem or whatever chaos inside me with people.yess, i always hide my feelings.people see me as a happy~go~lucky person, but deep inside i am a very sensitive..to be frank, i can easily cry.because of that i really think blogging is the best way to let all the aches inside me out.in other words, blogging is my diary.that is why also i didnt reveal my blog to others until now.so it is not personal anymore.im not here to make people impress of me,besides i know that my english is not so good but i think it understandable.and i admit im not good in making sentences.yess..i hate it.plus i hate all bahasa² thingy.i just like numbers.haha..ok back to the main point.if u are reading my blog u find it so boring, its totally not ur fault.because, me also find that my blog is totally boring..most of the entries are about my sadness and the same thing.because i dun know where to share except in here.why dont i share it with my friends?because i think my problems are not so important for them to know..and the main reason is im so embarrassed with those kind of feelings.

what i wrote in here was all about me.and since some of u is reading this, im scared that u will misunderstand with all the words scattered here and will start judging on me.but to keep all inside will make me crazy..not that bad, im just exaggerating....plus i dun like wake up in the morning and feel like shit. if u know me, u will say that i wont care what others would say on me.pretending that im cool and stoic enough with whatever shits people will talk about me.but the fact is i care and keep thinking on it like every second.so please, if u think all my words make no sense, back off because im sick and tired of caring what u thought of me. not here..not in my blog.and that is why me is the epitome of the gerrrret pretender.thank you.

♥

now i feel so bad.fb seems so bored for me..log in then stalk.log in and stalk.nothing much to do.since nonin has dumped his i phone, i feel like fb is no longer interesting.nampak sangat c nonin ni penghibur hati aku.sape lagi wa nak gaduh with selain dgn lu nin.sonok weh bang orang.dgn nonin jela aku selalu buat.hahaha..sori nin.tapi dat is so fact which wa cannot deny.pastu now semua orang kat opis yang bg aku makan, yang layan gile2 aku, yang layan mengada2 aku nak bla..so kat fb tu update semua yang menyedihkan aku je.thats why im considering to ditch fb but its the only medium yang boleh menghubungkan aku dgn diorang.

citer pasal orang nak berpindah ni..aku sedeh la.ya memang, wlaupun jauh, still boleh lagi contact since ade berbagai medium nowadays.but still lain kan?lepas ni sape nak panggil aku JAREK lagi klau bukan kak nona..dem aku rase mcm nak nanes!!aku nak beli jajan dengan sape klau bukan dgn kak sal?sape nak bagi aku kuih or biskut free or apa jenis makanan klau bukan kak gie.sape yang aku sebok2 nak kacau or panggil or bagi aku coke die bile beli mcd klau bukan kak eton. sape nak panggil aku makan bekal yang nyayi dia buat, jahit manik, yang aku selalu nganjing, selalu aku dengki klau bukan ct.klau aku yang baru sekejap ni dgn diorang dah terasa gile, apa lagi kak ghozal dan waty.mesti sunyi kan?haih..tapi nak buat cane?this is life.whatever happens, there must be a reason behind it.yesss..diorang pun kena la move on.x kan nak stay kat situ like forever.but i really enjoyed the time we spent together.a zillion thanks to all of you for always there for me. and more important for always melayan perangai aku yang ntahpape..waktu kacau atau stabil.luv u guys..muahhhhhhhhhhhhxxxx!XOXO

every hello ends with goodbye.its maybe the time to say it, but it will never be the end

to kak ghozal & waty..after this mesti korang rase sunyi kan?x pe aku kan CUM ict, memang nanti aku jela kot yang akan menempel di situ!!huhu..

aku mmg slamber..tp dalam hati konfem ade taman babe

i dun want to post this actually.but lately i keep on listening to this song everyday..its not everyday, i think almost every hour.what makes it relate to me..?the wording of course. dem i hate this..

"tuhan tolong nyatakanlah, padanya tentang cinta, adakah masih diriku diperlukan.

tuhan tunjukkan padanya, tentang apa yang ku fikirkan, adakah cinta ini perlu untuk dirinya."

dun u think it relates to me?waaaarggh

dear brain..

sorry for overloading you with thoughts of him.

dear tummy..

sorry for all the butterflies.

dear pillow..

sorry for all the tears.

dear heart..

sorry for all the damage.

im sorry



♥

i think i am so chronic right now!!

totally so so so unhealthy.

please..please..please..

cure me!!

make me feel healthy

and happy!

im tired of pretending .

please

im so damn tired of waiting

but i dont know why im still waiting

i tot this feeling wont come back

i was totally so wrong

i just want to scream

say it loud

but i cant

i just cant

***sigh***

jiwa kacau

out

i love to cabut rambut gatal!!hahaha..this habit is so cannot resist la..i dont know why but the best moment when me cabut the rambut gatal is when i can feel the curliest or crispiest part of the hair.can u feel it??that moment is the best la..best giler!!i will so satisfy and at one time nak buat research plak on that rambut..haha!!sangat x boleh bla!!tp seriyes...besh!!haha..

what else?owh..i love to smell my nephew's' bantal.of course they are so smelly..but the smell is besh.haha.before i got one.mase study dulu, everyone suka² hati je throw away my bantal as it was so smelly and it had become WATER RESISTANT!!hahaha..hebat x?klau buang kat laut, konfem ikan semua mati...but now the bantal is already gone.x tau p mana.i think mama already threw it away la..back from induction je, the pillow dah x de..tanye semua orang buat dunno je..menyampah!!dengki latuh..but now i need at least satu bantal yang lembik gile to cover my face to sleep.hihi..at home get one, stulang oso get one..the problem is when i have to go outstation.x kan nak bawak bantal lembik kot.so substituting [wujud ke perkataan ini?] it with face towel.huhu..what to do.

i love to lipat baju...but it dun like to put it to its place.paham x?meaning i will lipat baju and then i will leave it just like that..haha!!malas giler kan nak letak kat lemari.tu ar bontot makin besar.dem!!so klau nak lipat baju, mesti ade someone yang volunteer to put it to the right place.deal??

apekejadah ntah yang dibebelkan di atas..x ade kesinambungan langsung.the fact is i try to hide something.try to forget someone.try to not terus melayan that feeling.demmmmm!!!so this entry is so not besh actually.ok bye.

they love u but they are not ur lover

they care for u but they are not from ur family

they are ready to share ur pain but they are not in ur blood relations

they are FRIENDS

true friend scolds like a Dad, cares like Mom, teases like Sister, irritates like Brother and finally love u more than Lover.

life is hell without friends

sent by her

i think that it will be a waste if i just throw it away

this is to share

the value of friendship

♥

waaaaaarggghhhhhhhhh!!!

i really feel so fat!!yes i am.i can feel it.im not comfortable when walking.peha dah bertembung.dem.dem.dem.and the worst thing is that i reached 50.WTH??that is super duper unacceptable.therefore from now on..ill start to stay healthy.a week probation for me.breakfast with only a cup of oat.ill skip lunch.dinner is a bit difficult to skip as i will be tempted with my couz's cooking.shit!!!but ill try my best.and not to forget to drink a lot of plain water.i have too.ganbatte!!!i know i can do it.or else i will turn up like BEDAH!!lalalalalalalalala..bye

♥

those pix was taken during isma's birthday 5 years back. i guessed

i really miss those moment

and i miss the people.

dem

***sigh***

♥